I didn't. Instead, I got laid off today. I'm sharing it here because a few weeks or months from now I want to return and see in print exactly how I felt this day...surprisingly, pretty darn good!
Yes, there was shock. Being in a room with five others experiencing the same thing. My mind distanced itself from my body a bit and went into auto-pilot. It became difficult to write my information or hear what the outplacement guy was saying. My body just wanted to stay still and recover.
After that -- I felt free. My body recovered, my mind linked back and I started to feel almost--exhuberant. My mind was planning, checklisting...thinking, even as I packed my stuff and talked with the operations manager and my supervisor. No awkwardness whatsoever. It also seemed that each person involved was doing their part in a caring, thoughtful way. The only jarring note was the HR Director, who is always on-site during layoffs, was linked in by phone due to some plane issues (Icelandic volcano-caused, I think).
In the coming week, I'll be updating my LinkedIn profile and requesting the recommendations my managers offered (while the memory and the guilt of laying me off are still fresh). I may do a Youtube elevator pitch or introduction. I'll contact the outplacement firm and begin to update my resume. I already called my former life coach and asked her to work with me again for 3 months. And I have a spot reserved in an upcoming small 6-week peer support group of career changes/job seekers called Success Teams.
I will also be grieving the loss of the physical act of going to work and working with the wacky, strange and wonderful guys on my team. After almost 11 years of working for this company, I know I need to find or create a new structure, fast. It helps that I have a fast approaching deadline and an article to write. Check out my latest on www.Curlstylist.com -- I interviewed three rockstars of the curly world on curl highlighting techniques -- Christo, creator of the Curlisto haircare line, Denis Da Silva of Devachan, and Antonio Gonzales, master stylist at Orlando Pita Salon and a blogger and columnist for www.Curlstylist.com.
I got laid off, but I feel like life is good. I feel taken care of. It feels like God cleared the decks, gave me a soft landing and created a safe, open space for me to do...what? Follow him, and create whatever he tells me to.