Celebrating 3 years of Natural Hair - 10/21/06

October 21, 2006 was the day I got my third and last “little chop” -- 3 cuts I had gotten between then and August of 2005 when I stopped texlaxing. (My texlax had been a medium-strength sodium hydroxide relaxer kept on only as long as it took for the hairdresser to apply it). With the last of my texlaxed ends cut off, I walked out onto Church Street in Cambridge, MA with naturally curly hair for the first time in my adult life.

  December 2006 - A rainy day of shrinkage

This year I became aware the date was creeping up sometime in September. I began to mentally mark the days to my natural anniversary. It would pop up in my mind periodically. I thought about possibly celebrating it, at least with a "woohoo!". I looked forward to being 3 years a natural, one more year of knowledge and increased love for my hair.

 October 4. 2009 length check - wet and styled. I lose 2 inches when it dries.

I remembered the tough spots I faced in those 3 years: a bald spot on my temple, thinning hair from menopause and dropping hormone levels; having a major cut mid-2008 to get rid of some bad ends; and finally, the painful 16+ month transition from brown, color-treated hair to fully and naturally gray.

Hair Q &A: Hair in a cold, cold climate

Q: My daughter has a hair type EXACTLY like yours, and I am @ a loss for what to try in her hair. We live in a very cold climate so I am opposed to wetting her hair daily, but NO matter what I do her hair comes out looking like an oversized cotton ball. When wet it is eerily similar to your hair type but swells into frizz. HELP!! BTW you have a beautiful mind and beautiful hair! Thanks Sis!

A: Thanks so much for your kind words, I felt really good reading them.

Cold climates are usually dry and that's the challenge. I think I'll write a post on this topic (see previous post). If your daughter's hair is similar to mine, her hair could get puffy and frizzy for 2 possible reasons:

Fall 2009 Hair Routine: Guess summer is gone. At least that's what my hair is telling me.

A month into Fall and it snowed today, a light wet snow. Alrighty then!

Life was good in the summer once I figured out what my hair needed - Up to 3 days with one wash and go and high dewpoints to help my hair more easily fluff out and back down on day 2. I would do dry twist outs after 3 days and easily go 6 days before washing again.

Now I wake up to a stringy hard mess on day 2. But you know? It's all about making those seasonal changes:

• One of these is shea butter. Haven't touched it once since maybe May. Now it's my new best friend. The thickness of it works better for me in cold dry air to keep moisture in than a thinner product like Qhemet Olive Honey Hydrating Balm or even castor oil. Both of these work like a charm in the summer, hydrating and protecting the ends yet inviting that atmospheric moisture in.I emulsify about a 1/4 tsp of shea butter in my hands in the shower and scrunch right over conditioner after I've detangled. I make sure to cover every end. If I'm dry twisting, a little shea on my ends after moistening them with Afroveda Curly Custard or Curl Junkie Honeybutta leave in is protective and softening.I'm also adding a little shea butter to my Devacurl Set it Free for dry 2nd day hair. Shea butter works especially well to hydrate if the product I'm using contains large amounts of glycerin.
  

• Glycerin, that's another thing - I dial it down in the cool to cold dry weather, when there is much less moisture in the air to be captured. Glycerin heavy products like Qhemet Honeybush gel and CJ Aloe Fix will go into hibernation until what passes for the monsoon season up here.

• More water for the hair in the winter-- This may sound counter-intuitive because the last thing you want to do is walk around in the cold with wet hair -- and I'm not recommending that. But this time of year, my hair needs more frequent hydration -- more cowashings and shampoos to get it wet more. To avoid the wet cold head, I will use my diffuser more often or even my hard bonnet dryer, and wash more frequently at the end of the day. I'll try more roller sets to bun for 3 days or so, followed by dry twist outs. Adding a light scrunch of moisturizing product daily, of course.

• More moisturizing deep treatments - did I say more? I did not do one moisturizing DT the entire summer. Not one. With the moisture-attracting and enhancing products I used and the high dewpoint, there was no need.
  

My hair's key to summer/hot/humid vs. winter/cold/dry? In the summer, I want my hair and the atmosphere to be equalized. That means I'm going to load on the humectants and attract moisture to my hair. If it's equalized I don't get frizz. If my hair is less hydrated than the atmospheric moisture, it's going to frizz. Badly (See my Summer 2009 journal).

In the winter, none of that equality with the air crap. I will do everything I can to keep moisture in my hair from being leeched by the dry air. That means more moisturizing (water, conditioners) a heavier butter like shea, more frequent co-washing/cleansing, more deep treatments, and more frequent moisturizing of my dry hair.

I dreamed I had long hair

Other women have hair dreams, not me. I've read of women who dreamed they were straightening their hair, going bald, like that. These kinds of hair dreams seem to help the dreamer release or expose a fear she may not be able to feel when awake. My dream, the first hair dream I've ever had, wasn't about fear and it was very short.

I was looking in the mirror in the bathroom. My hair was down, looked like I had taken it down from a bun and fluffed it out. It was white and fluffy, bushy and frizzy, and somewhat straight from the bun rather than curly like a wash and go. And it fell right to the middle of my arm between shoulder and elbow. In the dream I am surprised to see myself like this, and pleased.

This dream may be about more than hair, I think. This dream is a vehicle my subconscious used to bring me a sense of abundance, to reach within me and draw forth my richness and connection to wealth. Yup. Long hair is all that, at least in my dream.

Hair questions: Help me with my daughter's hair please?

This is a real question from Answers.yahoo.com, and here is my actual answer to it, and what I didn't say below it. I had to bite my tongue--

Q.
I have two mixed daughters. One is three the other is two and for the life of me I cannot seem to get their hair to look shiny or decent. I have tried greasing it, I have tried baby oil, Pink lotion. The oldest daughters hair is very rough and brittle while the youngest has very soft hair. It won't grow and it won't stay in place; the curls are out of whack. Mind you I have curly hair as well as their father. My mother tries to brush it and gets annoyed when the curls dry out right away. I see all tons of little girls with beautiful locks of curls hanging past their shoulders, but unfortunately my girls have a little fro. My son on the other hand has beautiful hair that doesn't stop growing. I use the same items on his hair, any advice will be greatly appreciated thanks in advance.:)

A.

Not sure what effect you are going for, but if your daughters' hair is kinky or coily, it will sheen when healthy but won't shine like straight hair. It refracts light much differently.

Baby oil, Pink lotion and other products containing mineral oil are not good for hair. To help add moisture to their hair, try cleansing with a light conditioner, like Suave Naturals, or a light shampoo like Dr. Woods Castile Soap, then conditioning with a heavier more moisturizing conditioner such as Clairol Herbal Essences or Garnier Fructis. You may choose to leave the conditioner in, or rinse hair and add a little more conditioner back. Then try smoothing/scrunching in some castor oil on their ends, then letting dry naturally. This method helps hydrate the hair and emphasize the natural texture.

Retire the mineral oil laced products and try using natural oils like castor oil, avocado, coconut or jojoba oil. Natural fruit butters are also very beneficial to the hair (avocado, mango). But remember that any oil alone will not soften or moisturize the hair. Conditioning is key.

There are so many different textures to natural hair, especially in multi-racial children. All of them are beautiful, not just the locks of curls that hang past the shoulders. I hope you can help your girls learn to appreciate their hair. I've included some helpful links

Additional Resources:

www.naturallycurly.com
http://biracialhair.org/Welcome.aspx
http://motowngirl.com/content/
http://www.curlynikki.com/
http://suburbanbushbabe.blogspot.com/2009/06/hair-q-castor-oil.html


Here is what I didn't say:

Your negative attitudes about hair that doesn't meet your unrealistic standards of curly are potentially harmful to the self-esteem of your baby girls. They are still toddlers, yet toddlers can pick up dislike as well as an adult. You are setting them up for failure, mom. Please get a grip, and educate yourself -- for the sake of your girls.

Going Natural Inside and Out

Is eliminating chemicals from your hair related to eliminating them from your diet? Don’t know for sure, but I suspect they are. Three months after I stopped eating sugar and products with added sugar, I decided to stop coloring my hair. Three months ago, I gave up coffee and Splenda. Except for naturally occurring sugar in foods, I have been sugar free since January 2008 – no ice cream, cake or cookies since then. It took my mind and body four months longer before I stopped craving them. Giving up Diet Pepsi and Coke was no hardship.

Going natural inside has had some real benefits. Eliminating almost all caffeine not only brightened my skin, I no longer have a persistent hip muscle pain -- go figure! Switching from Splenda to stevia with the occasional agave syrup has helped balance my sweet tooth and I hope will balance out my metabolism. I drink natural sodas like Izze that are not sweetened with sugar, or make my own from Poland Springs fizzy water and purple carrot and pomegranate juice. I drink decaffeinated breakfast tea with the occasional cup of Harrogate’s Scottish Breakfast tea – the coffee of teas – thrown in. I sweeten my frozen tropical fruit smoothies with stevia.

Milk & Honey Hair Smoothie - Pre/Post Swim Conditioner

Here's a great hair smoothie/deep treatment recipe from Curls. I don't swim in chlorinated pools because chlorine is to me what sunlight is to a vampire. But this would make a great DT for any parched hair. I would apply pre- or post-cleanse on dry or wet hair, and use with my Micro Hair cap.

• 1 can of pure coconut milk (rich moisturize - hydrates, conditions and de-frizzes hair)
• 1 ripe avocado (natural source of protein - chlorine robs the hair of protein)
• 2 tablespoons of pure honey (conditions and adds sheen)
• 2 tablespoons of olive oil (hydrophobic oil that acts as a barrier to chlorine and salt water)

Directions:
Add ingredients to blender. Mix at high speed until your concoction reaches a smoothie consistency.

Store in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. You can warm up your hair smoothie in the microwave before next application...just enough do de-chill.

Hair Purgatory: Between the Big Chop and the "Hang"

A www.naturallycurly.com member started a topic about Hair Purgatory. For hypertextured 4a's, 4b's and beyond, that means when that pretty teeny weeny Afro (TWA) is no longer teeny enough to highlight your head shape, but not long enough to hang even partially south. It's still too short for that but it may be flopping out in other more crazy ways. It may naturally coil. But it also may have different textures. The sides may be tighter like coffee stirrer coils. The crown may have looser coils. The front may grow more slowly than the back. One part may be coarser than another. Or one part may be shrinkier than another.

This is the time when many curlies are focused on gaining length but are still learning what products and routines work best for their hair. It is when we aspire to all those shoulder length and beyond natural looks whose photo albums we so eagerly stalk. We get so focused on our hair future because that is way easier than our hair present. And of course these SL gals never had to go through this awkward period, they just woke up one morning and were SL, right? Let's call this Beyond the Big Chop (BC) Purgatory. It's a tough time because depending on what you do, you can inhibit your hair's development.

Beyond the BC hair purgatory happened to me several times over many years. It was a tough time for me -- too long for the cute shape anchored by my scalp. Too short for the hang. Doing the north, east and west, but definitely no south. WTF was it doing?

• not long enough to hang but not short enough to behave.
• not long enough to pull back into a bun.

I was in this stage several times in my life and each time it felt like I was unanchored and could not see the far shore. No matter how much I patted it down it refused to behave like a TWA. It also refused to behave like it wanted to drop and hang. I went through several cycles of growing it to a certain length, losing hope, and BC'ing again. And it all happened before the curly hair product revolution I saw happen after Y2K.