The First Mother: Inner Beauty Trumps the Hot Iron

Doesn't matter whether FLOTUS straightens or is natural.  And there are very few women I would say this about.  In photo after photo of Michelle Obama what shines through her skin is the beauty of her spirit.  I don't gush, but I don't think I'll stop admiring this woman. 

However....if she wore her natural texture and didn't have to straighten the bejusus out of her hair; if she had the freedom of that natural beauty, imagine how much more powerful she could come across?  Just sayin'...

10 Most Important Steps for Growing Healthy, Hypercurly, Natural Hair

Acceptance and Clarity - Take off the "mental wig." Once I accepted that I would never have Botticelli curls, I began to see that my hair could be even more beautiful. To actually see my hair, I need to look at photos. Mental distortion can occur when I look in the mirror, but the camera doesn't lie.

Understanding - Observe your hair under different circumstances, different climates. Learn to understand what your hair does, not what you want it to do and build on that. Look inward at your own hair, not outward at someone else's.

Look, listen and learn - It's a given that other naturals know more than I do, especially if their hair is thick and long and beautiful, right? I'm so teachable!

Protection: At night, protect the hairline with a silk head wrap, guard against friction with a silk pillowcase. Anchor the hair in a loose puff or large twists so it doesn't shift or rub against itself. During the day, I wear my hair out 95% of the time. Protection means the right products applied to each strand and a soft, aloe-vera based gel for hold. And no touching! (that one is hard.)

Hair questions: Help me with my daughter's hair please?

This is a real question from Answers.yahoo.com, and here is my actual answer to it, and what I didn't say below it. I had to bite my tongue--

Q.
I have two mixed daughters. One is three the other is two and for the life of me I cannot seem to get their hair to look shiny or decent. I have tried greasing it, I have tried baby oil, Pink lotion. The oldest daughters hair is very rough and brittle while the youngest has very soft hair. It won't grow and it won't stay in place; the curls are out of whack. Mind you I have curly hair as well as their father. My mother tries to brush it and gets annoyed when the curls dry out right away. I see all tons of little girls with beautiful locks of curls hanging past their shoulders, but unfortunately my girls have a little fro. My son on the other hand has beautiful hair that doesn't stop growing. I use the same items on his hair, any advice will be greatly appreciated thanks in advance.:)

A.

Not sure what effect you are going for, but if your daughters' hair is kinky or coily, it will sheen when healthy but won't shine like straight hair. It refracts light much differently.

Baby oil, Pink lotion and other products containing mineral oil are not good for hair. To help add moisture to their hair, try cleansing with a light conditioner, like Suave Naturals, or a light shampoo like Dr. Woods Castile Soap, then conditioning with a heavier more moisturizing conditioner such as Clairol Herbal Essences or Garnier Fructis. You may choose to leave the conditioner in, or rinse hair and add a little more conditioner back. Then try smoothing/scrunching in some castor oil on their ends, then letting dry naturally. This method helps hydrate the hair and emphasize the natural texture.

Retire the mineral oil laced products and try using natural oils like castor oil, avocado, coconut or jojoba oil. Natural fruit butters are also very beneficial to the hair (avocado, mango). But remember that any oil alone will not soften or moisturize the hair. Conditioning is key.

There are so many different textures to natural hair, especially in multi-racial children. All of them are beautiful, not just the locks of curls that hang past the shoulders. I hope you can help your girls learn to appreciate their hair. I've included some helpful links

Additional Resources:

www.naturallycurly.com
http://biracialhair.org/Welcome.aspx
http://motowngirl.com/content/
http://www.curlynikki.com/
http://suburbanbushbabe.blogspot.com/2009/06/hair-q-castor-oil.html


Here is what I didn't say:

Your negative attitudes about hair that doesn't meet your unrealistic standards of curly are potentially harmful to the self-esteem of your baby girls. They are still toddlers, yet toddlers can pick up dislike as well as an adult. You are setting them up for failure, mom. Please get a grip, and educate yourself -- for the sake of your girls.

Hair Purgatory: Between the Big Chop and the "Hang"

A www.naturallycurly.com member started a topic about Hair Purgatory. For hypertextured 4a's, 4b's and beyond, that means when that pretty teeny weeny Afro (TWA) is no longer teeny enough to highlight your head shape, but not long enough to hang even partially south. It's still too short for that but it may be flopping out in other more crazy ways. It may naturally coil. But it also may have different textures. The sides may be tighter like coffee stirrer coils. The crown may have looser coils. The front may grow more slowly than the back. One part may be coarser than another. Or one part may be shrinkier than another.

This is the time when many curlies are focused on gaining length but are still learning what products and routines work best for their hair. It is when we aspire to all those shoulder length and beyond natural looks whose photo albums we so eagerly stalk. We get so focused on our hair future because that is way easier than our hair present. And of course these SL gals never had to go through this awkward period, they just woke up one morning and were SL, right? Let's call this Beyond the Big Chop (BC) Purgatory. It's a tough time because depending on what you do, you can inhibit your hair's development.

Beyond the BC hair purgatory happened to me several times over many years. It was a tough time for me -- too long for the cute shape anchored by my scalp. Too short for the hang. Doing the north, east and west, but definitely no south. WTF was it doing?

• not long enough to hang but not short enough to behave.
• not long enough to pull back into a bun.

I was in this stage several times in my life and each time it felt like I was unanchored and could not see the far shore. No matter how much I patted it down it refused to behave like a TWA. It also refused to behave like it wanted to drop and hang. I went through several cycles of growing it to a certain length, losing hope, and BC'ing again. And it all happened before the curly hair product revolution I saw happen after Y2K.