Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hair questions: Help me with my daughter's hair please?

This is a real question from, and here is my actual answer to it, and what I didn't say below it. I had to bite my tongue--

I have two mixed daughters. One is three the other is two and for the life of me I cannot seem to get their hair to look shiny or decent. I have tried greasing it, I have tried baby oil, Pink lotion. The oldest daughters hair is very rough and brittle while the youngest has very soft hair. It won't grow and it won't stay in place; the curls are out of whack. Mind you I have curly hair as well as their father. My mother tries to brush it and gets annoyed when the curls dry out right away. I see all tons of little girls with beautiful locks of curls hanging past their shoulders, but unfortunately my girls have a little fro. My son on the other hand has beautiful hair that doesn't stop growing. I use the same items on his hair, any advice will be greatly appreciated thanks in advance.:)

Not sure what effect you are going for, but if your daughters' hair is kinky or coily, it will sheen when healthy but won't shine like straight hair. It refracts light much differently.

Baby oil, Pink lotion and other products containing mineral oil are not good for hair. To help add moisture to their hair, try cleansing with a light conditioner, like Suave Naturals, or a light shampoo like Dr. Woods Castile Soap, then conditioning with a heavier more moisturizing conditioner such as Clairol Herbal Essences or Garnier Fructis. You may choose to leave the conditioner in, or rinse hair and add a little more conditioner back. Then try smoothing/scrunching in some castor oil on their ends, then letting dry naturally. This method helps hydrate the hair and emphasize the natural texture.

Retire the mineral oil laced products and try using natural oils like castor oil, avocado, coconut or jojoba oil. Natural fruit butters are also very beneficial to the hair (avocado, mango). But remember that any oil alone will not soften or moisturize the hair. Conditioning is key.

There are so many different textures to natural hair, especially in multi-racial children. All of them are beautiful, not just the locks of curls that hang past the shoulders. I hope you can help your girls learn to appreciate their hair. I've included some helpful links

Additional Resources:

Here is what I didn't say:

Your negative attitudes about hair that doesn't meet your unrealistic standards of curly are potentially harmful to the self-esteem of your baby girls. They are still toddlers, yet toddlers can pick up dislike as well as an adult. You are setting them up for failure, mom. Please get a grip, and educate yourself -- for the sake of your girls.